Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
