i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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