It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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