I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize