I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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