He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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