why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
3 2 1 whiskey
And my parents said I crawled through the house
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