Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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