All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
