Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
