she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
