These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize