just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
