Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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