Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.

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  (301): Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached. http://tfl.nu/7q2p
  Replies (3) Good night (1789) Bad night (610)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.

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  (617): So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon. http://tfl.nu/mzh2
  Replies (9) Good night (825) Bad night (1367)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.

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  (201): she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator. http://tfl.nu/ju6d
  Replies (70) Good night (1465) Bad night (8322)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine

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  (617): i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine http://tfl.nu/ryw8
  Replies (33) Good night (887) Bad night (3628)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Ontario

  i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia

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  (416): i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia http://tfl.nu/2gcx
  Replies (48) Good night (735) Bad night (6032)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"

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  (404): yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you" http://tfl.nu/otku
  Replies (11) Good night (3595) Bad night (817)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.

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  (206): I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed. http://tfl.nu/hhhb
  Replies (26) Good night (1106) Bad night (5769)
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  (760): View more from California

  I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.

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  (760): I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me. http://tfl.nu/uzp6
  Replies (20) Good night (858) Bad night (2268)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on

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  (303): It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on http://tfl.nu/2wn1
  Replies (4) Good night (1736) Bad night (611)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!

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  (406): I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before! http://tfl.nu/id35
  Replies (10) Good night (1602) Bad night (548)
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  (435): View more from Utah

  It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.

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  (435): It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk. http://tfl.nu/lvra
  Replies (1) Good night (1085) Bad night (484)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman

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  (520): Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman http://tfl.nu/fkwg
  Replies (3) Good night (684) Bad night (507)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.

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  (248): PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW. http://tfl.nu/5tmy
  Replies (7) Good night (1190) Bad night (483)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.

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  (407): Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather. http://tfl.nu/p43l
  Replies (0) Good night (521) Bad night (230)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.

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  (248): I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies. http://tfl.nu/rwik
  Replies (3) Good night (770) Bad night (269)

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