She's JV to your varsity
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.