no you cant smoke seaweed
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
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I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
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I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.