I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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