He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.