we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
