dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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