Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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