This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
