it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
