but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
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Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
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FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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