I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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