I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
