I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
