1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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