when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
