Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
