he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
