i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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