More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
