After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
