I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
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