ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
