My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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