I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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