just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
