A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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