I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Randomize
