Don't make out with my wife yet
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
