i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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