you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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