She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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