hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Randomize
