i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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