Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
