i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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