if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Dicks are not precious.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
