two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
