Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
