Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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