nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize