We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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