I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
