Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
