Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
