i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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