I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
