My brain says no but my pants say off.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
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