Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
