Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
