So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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