it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
