I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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