I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
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i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
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Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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