You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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